XXVII

XXVII

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Sown White

Is it better to give up dreaming
Than to not dream at all...?
I fill up the atmosphere with my clouds of smoke,
 Like a old Christmas carol... With all the sentiments gone...
In my cloak of mysticism 
The eyes I see of beauty and love
Have dimmed the final rays...
Hair use to match the irises
Sown to white... now at deep blue seas
We feel the drugs sore through our veins.... 
Like a sale-boat in thunderstorm... 
Its hard to determine the direction or which piece of you will break. 
In my silence closely to death I whisper something even I cant hear... 
And in that bountiful moment the waves wash over the boat 
And the rest of the pain sinks...

 It is better not to dream at all...

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Terminal

So you wait forever on this news...
The heart still refuses to tangle others in the mess of your ruins 
We're born, we're tethered and among each of us, love remains.
The good, the bad, the holy, the evil, fight for my strength.  
At this point in my life... 
I've reached another brick road
Another barrier, another burden,
Can't you just... serve my soul 
To the ground.... 

The trees are lonely now, in my childish backyard 
No swaying in the moonlight the norther lights, 
The lava lamps and candles burnings...
My dust remains there... I AM CERTAIN
My family, a home away from home; my terminal bed; 
Bitterness, how I deserve this?
Confusion, of the meaning of life.
So many children born since I've arrived here...
So many suffered it's to hard equal the balance... 

The same things that haunted me before
Hunt me even greater now... 
Just trying to find some temporary peace
To void off the sounds of the beeping machines...

If loving to much, if everything I feel is too strong 
I never wanted to lose, but I'm a graceful winner...
When I know the resolve... 

And God if this if your plan for me...

I will go as you follow... 

i won't argue anymore. 

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Immensity

The quicker we come to the realization 
That the most important thing about healing
Is self-control... 
That we can only heal inside 
With no time frame, thoughts of the foreseen future.  
I'll be awake most of the night
So you can squander your days 
Beaming in the back-light of the sun 
Now cold on the outside 
Through the terminal horizon 
I will need you're prayers more now... 
If not from heaven
But from some place you felt most inspired,  
Carry it through, more weight for the weakened heart
Carry it on your shoulders... the burden immensity  
Just to clarify what has long sense past 
But still haunts you everyday 
Through and through 
The quicker we come to the realization 
That the most important thing about healing
Is self-control... 

Symptomatic

You're symptomatic
Your mind is lost, so far gone
Drawn to conclusions....
Why have you forgotten the old days? 
Not long ago... Before we ever met. 
And before the illnesses...
Somehow i see my child 
Wearing a raincoat in early spring..
Just like with our mother,
The heartbeat; one in the same..
Before the illnesses
Somehow I lost my child...
Looking for answers
In the unknown world.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

2.1

This may not end well...
We had to start somewhere
A new beginning failed.  
And for the life of me... I can't find my peace without you. 
One way back on the road to Judgment street
There's only one opinion that counts...
An accomplishment that can really give life new meaning...
But how does it feel once your spirit is damaged...
No inspiration that can fly on one wing.  
How does it feel to know the future uncertain?
I'd pray to God or some holy sentiment 
Just to allow the time to heal... 
But time is never what is needs...

Raven birds pick away at the bones of nothing... 
My dreams only nightmares... 
Her eyes just as beautiful as I remember 
But what difference does it make 
If I never look into them? 
Maybe if I were to die first before the end... 

We had to start somewhere
A new beginning failed. 

Friday, December 13, 2013

Will My Shadow Walk the Same?

So much is wrong...
Tomorrow won't recover.
Uncover the small differences...
By making the most of what's to come...
How can i make my shadow walk the same
Footsteps... 
How can I regain control over you
My helpless daemon...
Tremors are always here
By you
From some strange insignificant feeling 
I am living in the hell you created 
Because something is always missing 
By you... 

Forgive me.
So much is wrong. 

What if there was a some small difference 
In the way we see the world 
Like a third eye... 
Would we still be blind to all that is wrong?
All the destruction.. 
Or is the suffering needed? 
Sadness beautiful... 
The sound of music chorus through the veins 
I open my heart to you now...
If it's not to late...
It might as well be... for the rest of me. 

Spark a little flame... 

Living in the hell you created 
Because something is always missing 
By you... 

By you... 

Forgive me.
So much is wrong. 

...

The winter doors are open
Some sort of strange red glow to the sky
Reflects the earth violence's
On the frozen Erie canal... 

What happen to you my patients 
Will the wind ever feel the earth on me again? 
Will the God ever decide for you again, no
You're on your own on this one... 
So start to believe in something 
Forget the negative.  

Forget it....

How can I make my shadow walk the same
Footsteps... 
How can I regain control over you
My helpless daemon...?
Tremors are always here
By you
From some strange insignificant feeling 
I am living in the hell you created 
Because something is always missing 

By you... 

By you... 

Forgive me.



The Twelfth

You are identified...
You are seen but not heard
You've put your heart out there
Briefly to feel some kind of love,
Whenever life becomes to real
You start to plan your escape
Now there's no exit... So what will it take? 

Whenever the burden is to heavy
You feel the need to give up...
Whenever the heart is too empty
You feel the need to fill it with words...

If love won't stop me
If God won't give me a sign
If love and compassion are not united
Will the poets words leave him blank forevermore...?

What good are idea's soaked in blood? 
Recalling every heartbreaking month leading to the twelfth... 

The twelfth is here forever after... 
The one scar before my identity no one knows...
Not a soul... 

You are seen but not heard.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

The Distance Bell

I think there's more to this memory
Now ghost on the waters reflection
I saw her eyes for the very first time... 
And how her nerves comforted me to not be nervous myself...
A quiet rain stormed June as if the earth fell silent nature... 
Wind blew beneath the sleeping willows 
And ancient chimes rang the distant bell 
Of tomorrow 
Just as the night grew further than the horizon fades... 
Into the other soul, other light... 
Memories of what might have been, would be.
To continue... to remain... 
I think there's more to this mystery 
Now ghost on the waters reflection... 

Monument Sculpture of Christ
With eyes wide open, eyes wide shut 

Eternal peace.  

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Gratitude

I'll never be able to thank you enough
A certain sentiment...
You are beyond anyone in spirit 
That eyes can't truly see
But you learn a lot more about someone
 When its your inner most thoughts
Shared between...
Light means a lot of things...
Its the reason we see 
The answer to whether there's life after death, 
Is beyond anything we can dream. 
And if you stare direly into the sun 
Blinded by the world whether its sacred or not... ?
Light fills you eternally as my gratitude for you 

Never dies... 

Monday, December 9, 2013

Agreement

Are we in agreement with life...?
Footsteps towards the gate surrounding cast shadows against the snow...
Somehow reality seems black and white... 
The summers long over but the hymns haven't changed... 
I never see this place when its all filled with people
I've never had the proper inspiration to light the fire of a soul... 
Of a love that wont die. 
If you'd do anything for me...
 You'd trust your instincts and follow your heart this time... 
Make no rule about it... 
Just wake up with life in your eyes... 
Wake beside you.

I'd die for the agreement of life.

Detox

Look beyond the railway; 14 years.. 
Were you that sleepy girl
On the way back home from Holiday...?
Through the chemical detox 
We were all put to sleep. .
Looking beyond the railway; 14 years.. 

The other side of the world 
Has the sun
And I am left sober 
Because the second pill does nothing, 
Anymore... 

Anymore. 


Sunday, December 8, 2013

Raven's Place

I've waiting years to write this poem
I knew the words just never the light to convey them...
Against your shadow in the amber sun 
The fear is passing near the dreaming tree...
The same ark unannounced the echo fades...
On Bloodhill, the Ravens place.

I've waited years... take me back...
I've waited beyond my time, 
As our time is nearly nothing.
I've waiting years... take me back... 
I've waited beyond my time! 

You know this poem by heart now.
But will you speak it out loud to me?  

The fear is passing near the dreaming tree...
The same ark unannounced the Daemon fades...
On Bloodhill, the Ravens place.

I've waited years... take me back...
I've waited beyond my time, 
As our time is nearly nothing.
I've waiting years... take me back... 
I've waited beyond my time! 

Room Full of Mirrors

There's a point in your past that frightens you...
Now... as you dream in a room full of mirrors
What will tomorrow offer 
If it offers nothing at all? 
Will you still walk to the church on Sunday 
Like you use to do before the snow arrived?

And there's was a pause in the wind 
For thinking...
A pause in the tears for the clouds to gather
Nothing more than crutch in the rain...
A tremor in your hands 
You know the burden is...
Surrounding the air around you...
You know the hearts would die for...
Just an sign or relief to cure you ...

To cover your impulses... one by one. 

Maybe the soil, frozen cold. 

There's a point in your past that frightens you...
Now... as you dream in a room full of mirrors

Friday, December 6, 2013

Upside Down

When will the circle come around?
The world upside down.. 
It doesn't appear that snowflakes are falling 
But if you look really closely 
Into the headlights
You'll want to glide right into them... 

The sky is pale 
On nights along the sea...
Following my vision
Into the ashen paintings...
The hurt is strong 
The mind unstable... 
The heart crushed among 
What's left of the autumn leaves...
Don't tell me it's morning
Don't return to London. 
Once the fog takes me away... 

It so strange...

Being alone in a room that is full. 
All these people with places to go
All these places with people...
And I spend my time alone... 
(No one really knows...)
What will it take for them to learn 
That I can't fight this without dying first. 

It's so maddening... 

By the time I last walked my neighborhood streets... 
It was early... with the sun blinding rays...
I never imagined that love would push so far
Sink so deep... 
That there would be no one else to talk to
Even just casually... the act of love would be dangerous. 

But it's everything I feel... 

The rarity of life...
The human heart of an artist 
That can make no sacrifice
Chooses his will...  

When will the circle come around?
The world upside down.. 
It doesn't appear that snowflakes are falling...

But they are.

Joshua

This ones for you
For the funeral in time...
Hold me close, sky
Wind, I'm still wide awake
Tormented beyond the eyes
Joshua your footsteps disappear

My god, my love 
Is there more time for us... To feel
To heal or be broken. Shattered
A hundred million ways..
Tell me there's another way, I need to know 
My god, my love
So absent, so abandoned...
The ocean is a world full of tears
This ones for you...
For the funeral in time

We cry.

I'm still wide awake.

Only Sunday

I sense you needed a break from me
As I needed a break from myself 
As well...
The world keeps spinning...
And in my palms a candle holder 
That sits a top the glob 
Only sees one nation
The world as part of a universe... 
One space in which I am rooted to the ground.

The pain removes me... 
Sets my wings to flight again  
Only memories of Sunday 
Come to life in the rosemary sky 
Only memories of Sunday
Vanish in that same air
As sunlight fades

Only Sunday

Have you not forgotten 
What you made this planet for...?

Or will you not tell me...
No poet 
To the sun of God. 

I am (Thinking, 
Loving, 
Dying 
To Much 
Pain.)
I am (Smoking
Drinking
Numbing 
To much
Pain.

I am 

I am. 

No poet 
To the sun of God. 

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Spiritual Guide


Being haunted - 

It must be a natural process 
That its manifestation or its degrees...
Especially when we fight up the emotions inside 
Or we try to understand ourselves
In such manner that we'd like to ''embrace'' the moment in time 

Come down from this...
High
Come down from these
Great heights 
From the core bottom
We reach 
To find something... 

Meaningful... spiritual

The river runs of silent tears
(((Outside)))
The burden's ghost... 
Join hands together 
In a circle... 
Walk the dying path
Back into the sun

To be blind the heart. 
To be blind to the world... 

Consult'' your little piece of heaven

Meanwhile I'm simply a visionary 

Of what will be 

Come down from this...


In light of Sullen

I see fear running
Bold movements under concrete 
Have you lost your eyes too see at night?
Waiting in the wind and rain for a promise
Maybe just a woman who isn't there...

Waiting in the wind and rain
Are we followed by a sense of death 
Or is mourning something we all repress?
In light of sullen the air is removed within  

Some footsteps behind me follow
Never walking in my shadow
Some eyes behind me wander 
Never looking straight within 

The four bar white walls 
Beyond the curtains 
The world under sinks... 

Lively with ciaos and fear  
How does one become it
Without becoming downright evil? 

Lively with ciaos and fear  
How does one survive it
Without ending one's reality? 

Lively with ciaos and fear  
Be known to me
The ideas that haven't slipped away... 

I see fear running
Waiting in the wind and rain
I see fear running
Waiting in the wind and rain

(((She isn't there.)))

Monday, December 2, 2013

Remain Still

In my heartbeat the purple skies ablaze  
Beyond the ocean... some footsteps
Remain still...
Body-less on the earth's canvas 
Something you may have seen
Created the endeavour... 
Now a mystery to us both...
Come together  
Signify my love with memories 
Remain still
Because the world is just as cold as you left it.  
Nothing less of my future exists 
It is no longer trial and error 
The rain can fall but you won't see me break down

The break down is lost.


In my heartbeat the purple skies ablaze 

Body-less on the earth's canvas 

Now a mystery to us both...

Nothing less of my future exists 

The break down is lost.

...
Remain still